If this is justice, I don't want this career
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: What SHOULD of happened in 'Cold'. Casey/Chester. Oneshot.


Remember when 'Cold's' previews first aired and everybody thought that Chester took Casey hostage? Well, because what ACTUALLY happened was such an out-of-character representation of my favorite character and this idea has been in my head for a while now, I decided to actually write out what would of happened if what'd we all thought about the preview had been true. Mostly because Casey's whole character is devoted to justice, and she wouldn't of committed a Brady violation unless its as absolutely the right thing to do- and it was obvious that the Brady violation wouldn't of helped get a conviction anyway. Damn Dick Wolf. Damn him. I hate him. So, even though Casey's back (and never in any episodes! GRRRR) and it's a couple years too late… here we go. What COULD of happened in 'Cold'- and SHOULD have- set after Chester's been admitted to the hospital from the shoot-out with the rapist at the abandoned junk yard or whatever it was. Rant over.

**Haven't watched 'Cold' more than once because I didn't know what episode it was and I never will watch it again. Therefore, I only know the bare basics of what happened, so it doesn't stick to canon that well. Sorry.**

"Elliot, what the hell did you do?" Casey demanded, slamming the door to Cragen's office right after she pulled him inside.

He groaned, glaring at the redheaded ADA and crossed his arms. "Before you start yelling at me, Counselor, would you at least bother telling me what you're yelling _about?_ Cragen? You know-"

"I told you not to talk to Chester Lake, at least not before I gave you the god damn green light," she snapped, all the while Cragen looking between the two impassively.

"So? What, is he going to sue you just because I talked to him? DId he call your boss and now you're in trouble?" he asked sarcastically, and Casey almost snapped right then and there.

"If you're trying to insinuate this is about me, then I hope that you're ready for a-"

"Children, please!" Cragen shouted, interrupting them both. They both turned to glare at him, and he just shrugged. "If you're going to act like a couple bickering children, there's no reason for me not to treat you as such. Elliot, the only reason Casey called you down here is because now we actually _can't_ talk to Lake. He hired a lawyer and his lawyer isn''t allowing anybody in Lake's hospital room except hospital staff- and we don't even have his statement yet. Novak had to argue with him for almost half an hour to get his lawyer to allow Benson and Munch an hour with Lake so they could take his statement, and now he's off limits."

Elliot took a step back, shocked. Chester Lake was a member of the squad; a fellow detective. Suspects- the ones who always turned out being guilty- were the ones that hired lawyers and refused to say anything. He couldn't equate his mental picture of Chester with his general disgust and hatred for the perps that they caught and collared almost every day.

"I hope you're happy, Elliot," Casey growled as she stormed towards the door. "I'm headed over to Granger's firm to talk with him. Maybe I can convince him to give me a few minutes alone with Lake so I can try and talk him out of whatever scheme he's trying, but don't get your hopes up, Captain."

Once Casey was gone, Cragen turned to Elliot and said softly, "Detective, as of now, Chester Lake is off limits. Fin's chained to a desk- he can't work this case. I can put Munch back in the field, but you and Liv are still the lead detectives." Elliot nodded and was on his way out the door when Cragen called out, "Elliot, wait. …I need to know if there is anything going on between Chester and Novak. If she can't be impartial, then I'll need to talk to the DA about giving us a temp until this case is over."

Elliot just shrugged. "I don't know, Captain. All I can tell you is that Chester asked Casey out about a year ago, but I don't know what happened after that. Liv or Fin might be able to tell you more, though."

Cragen nodded, gesturing for Elliot to leave. "All right. I'll talk to them- go back to work."

Elliot sighed as he walked back out into the squad room. This whole case had divided the uniting half. Fin was standing up for his partner and trying to prove that he was innocent of any wrong-doing, Munch and Fin were at each others throats because, since John had never really liked Chester anyway and was convinced his suspicions about Lake had been true all along. Elliot and Olivia were easily the most impartial, but that wasn't saying much- they, too, were torn between their fellow detective and trying to prove him innocent, or investigating the case like they would any other and finding out that he was hiding a lot more secrets than just who the hell his ancestors were and when they were supposed to have 'built' Manhattan. Casey wasn't being much help; she's on Fin and Chester's side entirely, and Elliot had a pretty good idea why.

Cragen wasn't completely off when he guessed that Casey and Chester were dating. While Elliot didn't know what the entire story was between those two, there were subtle signs that it was more than friendship- a lingering touch here, a wink there… But nothing concrete.

* * *

><p>Casey sighed, showing the nurse her ADA badge. "Please. I know he said no visitors, but… can you just tell him it's me? I need to see him."<p>

The nurse grimaced. "I'm sorry, ma'am, his lawyer's threatened a lawsuit if we let anybody in there but hospital staff; I could lose my job."

"Just talk to him!" Casey begged. "Please. Tell him that Casey Novak is here to see him."

The nurse glared at her, then sighed. "All right. I'll go talk to him. But if he says no, you have to leave."

"I will, but only if he says no."

Casey didn't have to wait long; only a minute and half- of which Casey spent her time staring at her watch- had passed before the nurse returned and said in slight surprise, "He agreed to see you. Come on, follow me."

Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Casey pushed herself off the wall and followed the nurse as she led the ADA towards Chester's hospital room. "Half an hour," the nurse said sternly when they arrived at Chester's hospital room. "Then you have to leave."

"I have to be in court in twenty minutes; I couldn't of stayed that long anyway," Casey said, resisting the urge to add that if she had tried to stay longer than half an hour, that nurse wouldn't be able to stop her.

Once the nurse was gone, Casey burst into the hospital room, exclaiming, "Chester!"

Chester smiled at her slightly and nodded. "Here I am."

"Thank god!" she gasped, running over to him and throwing herself at him, kissing him again and again and again. "Don't. You. Ever. Scare. Me. Like. That. Again!" she gasped, kissing him once in between each word as if to punctuate her point. "God, you had me worried sick, Chester!"

"I'm sorry, Casey."

"Well, you should be!" Casey exclaimed fiercely, pulling away from him before sighing heavily and sitting on the side of his hospital bed, running a hand through her red hair. "Chester… what's going on? Why did you hire a lawyer and why won't you let anybody come see you? Because if you're in legal trouble, then I'll help you, you know that-"

"Casey, it's not like that… I need to know if I can trust you."

Casey pulled back slightly, frowning in confusion. "Trust me? Chester, of course you can-"

"If you had to choose between me or the squad, who would you chose?" he asked quietly, grabbing her hand when she tried to pull away. "Olivia, Elliot, Fin… or me?"

"Che- Chester… what are you talking about?" she stammered. "I… I can't choose between you and them. Why would I have to, anyway?" she asked weakly, but Chester shook his head.

"Casey, I can't talk to the squad because this isn't to their problem. It's mine. And I can't tell you if you're going to tell the squad too."

Casey had never seen Chester like this. He was always serious but now, he was watching her like it was a matter of life and death. He grasped her warm, shaking hand with his cold one and watched her impassively.

"Chester, I can't promise that!" she finally managed to say. "They're my friends. I've known them for years, I can't promise that. I'm sorry."

"Casey, we've been dating for over a year. We've made love. And yet, you're still telling me that you would choose them over me?"

Aghast, Casey closed her eyes and shook her head. "Why do I even have to chose between you two, Chester? Why are you making my choose; why can't you-"

"If you can't promise me that, then I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

Swallowing back her anger, Casey lay back against his hospital bed, leaning her head into his shoulder. "Then can you at least give me some advice, or some kind of hint so I can find out what actually happened when you were shot?"

He shook his head. "I'm sure you'll find out sooner or later. Just promise me something- if I text you and tell you to meet somewhere, please come alone and don't tell anyone where you're going. Please, Case."

"Well, I think I can promise that, by why all the cloak and dagger stuff? Why-"

"Promise me, Casey."

She sighed, resting a hand on his chest. "I promise… I love you and I trust you. That's the only reason I can promise this."

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>It didn't take too long after Casey's secret meeting with Chester for the other electives to find out about Lake's meetings in Philadelphia and the cold case he was working on. To trace down the others present when he was shot; to discover one was a child rapist- even though the statute of limitations was up. But now they had the opportunity to get him attempted murder of a police officer…<p>

Or would, if the lab results were conclusive. But they weren't. The lab results were inconclusive and Casey now had a choice: she could either report it to the defense, like she was mandated to do, and let down Chester and the rape victim who had been waiting for justice for over twenty years…

Or simply keep quiet.

If she got a conviction for this case, the bastard would be in jail for over thirty years. That wasn't justice for what he did to that little girl and Chester, but at least he would suffer. She wanted to murder him for trying to kill Chester, though, wanted to be the one to sign his death warrant and pull the trigger. As it was, she would simply crucify him at trial and enjoy it throughly.

But that was only if she lied and didn't submit the evidence to the defense- and Casey wasn't sure if she could go through with that. That was a Brady violation; she could lose her license. And, much more importantly, she would be breaking the very laws she'd sworn to uphold after graduating law school. Everything she'd worked so hard for for years would be rendered worthless if she was suspended or disbarred and what kind of a reputation would she have if she went back on laws she struggled to uphold every single day?

Besides… she loved Chester. The very undeniable fact that she did love him made her question her reasoning on this. Even when she prosecuted Liam Conners, or tied up the loose ends on the Ackerman case- and that had been even worse; he held her at gunpoint and shot Munch and Elliot… she had never seriously considered anything like this.

But now, when she was in love with the victim, her judgement was compromised. Casey knew that was true, but should she ignore that and go ahead with the Brady violation? If no one ever found out, then a rapist would be in prison and Chester would have justice.

Casey sighed. If she did go through with it and no one found out until after the trial, she was setting up the possibility for someone to blackmail her later. And then, she could still lose her license and gave a very good reason for appeal, if she did win.

Those weren't the real reasons she was hesitant to do this, though. The fact that she was so close to Chester made her think that her relationship with him was forcing her into something she didn't really want to do.

"So what?" she muttered under her breath. "I love him. So what if I lose my license; I'd do it for him."

But what could she and Chester be classified as, anyways? They had kept their relationship secret, per Chester's request, for a year. There was never any hint that they were going somewhere, either. Never any talk of what they would do if they were married or had kids. It was like they were friends with benefits… but she loved him and he loved her. Was that enough, then, to convince her to risk this?

Before SVU, she would have never considered this. But now, it was for more than an investment fraud scheme or a con. Was her license, her job, worth trading if it got a rape victim and her lover justice?

Yes, yes it was. Casey picked up the lab report and was about to hide it under another file, then hesitated.

No, it wasn't. The laws she worked to uphold were important to her. She had sworn to uphold them over ten years ago and wasn't going to break that promise now; not for this case, just because she was in love with the victim and the law wouldn't let her get justice. It wasn't worth it.

Sighing in defeat, Casey called in her secretary, asking him to fax the lab report over to the defense. It didn't matter how much she loved Chester; she was dedicated to this job and the squad more.

That was when she received a text message- from Chester.

_Meet me across the street from where we had our first date in 30 minutes. Love you._

Casey was out the door before her secretary had time to ask where she was going.

* * *

><p>"Chester!" Casey called softly as the taxi pulled away, looking around for him nervously. "<em>Chester!<em>"

"A hand clamped across her mouth from behind and Chester's voice whispered in her ear, "Don't move, and don't scream."

She gasped, fighting the instinct to pull away and whirl around. Chester slid his hand off her mouth and rested it on her shoulder gently, once he was assured that she wouldn't scream, and asked softly, "Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

"Then keep trusting me now. I'm sorry I have to do this," Chester said before Casey felt a cold, metal ring lock around her wrist.

"Chester!" she gasped, trying to pull away from him, but not managing it before he had handcuffed her wrists together. "Chester, stop it! What are you doing it?"

"I'm sorry," he repeated, hooking his arm through hers as he led her towards an abandoned warehouse. "Do you have your cell phone with you?"

She nodded, still struggling to get away, and Chester smiled slightly. "That's good." When Casey tried to pull away again, Chester tightened his grip on her and said, "Case, stop struggling or the handcuffs will hurt your wrists more."

"Well here's an idea for that- why don't you take them off?" she hissed without ceasing her struggles.

He just shook his head as he pulled her inside, and it never once occurred to Casey to scream. Even if she hated what Chester was doing right now, she still loved and trusted him. Later, she would regret it, wondering that if she had screamed then, things wouldn't of turned out as bad as they did.

* * *

><p>"Who cares if he tears his stitches, Fin?" Elliot shouted, exasperated. "Your <em>partner<em> has done nothing but obstruct this investigation and if I were you, I'd be sick of it by now!"

"Yeah?" Fin retorted. "What if Olivia was the one shot? Would you be trying to help her and find the bastard or spend all your time complaining, like you're doing now?"

"Olivia would tell us everything that she knew that could help! Chester's not saying anything!" Elliot shouted back.

Olivia just rubbed her temples and resisted the urge to go out and by a nice set of ear plugs. They had been at it like this ever since Chester was shot and now that they didn't have the shooter's DNA at the crime scene, they needed Chester to tell them what the hell was going on. Of course, when she and Elliot had gone down to the hospital to try and see him, his lawyer be dammed, they found out that he'd disappeared.

Olivia's cell phone vibrated, then, and she pulled it out eagerly, hoping it would lead her to a break in the case. "Hello?"

"Olivia! Liv, it's Casey; listen to me. You need to trace this call and get down here, now- please!"

"Casey, what's going on? You missed arraignment ten minutes ago; your-"

"Liv, I'm with Chester- he's threatening to shoot himself if you don't get down here with Brad Collins. Please, Liv!"

"He's _what?_" she gasped, shouting for Elliot and Fin to stop fighting as she put the call on speaker. "Casey, you can't let him do that! Get the gun away from him-"

"She can't," a new voice interrupted- Chester. "I handcuffed her- and I lied to her. I told her I would kill myself because I know if I told her that I would shoot her and not myself, she never would of agreed to this. Casey would rather die then go along with a scheme like this. I'm going to shoot her if you don't bring Brad Collins down here. Bring SWAT team too; I don't care. I just want ten minutes alone with Brad."

His demand was met with silence as Elliot, Olivia, and Fin stared at each in horror and disbelief. Fin finally gasped, "Chester, man, come on. Don't do this; we can work something out. If you let Casey go now nobody even has to know-"

"You don't get it, do you?" Chester asked bitterly. "Fine. No more talking. I'll show you that I'm serious."

* * *

><p><em>"I'm sorry,"<em> Chester mouthed to Casey as he walked towards her, aiming his gun carefully at her shoulder. He shook his head, regret in his eyes, his hands shaking as he tried to steady the gun.

"Chester, no! Don't!" Casey cried, struggling to move away from him. Chester pulled a role of duck tape out of his pocket and taped it across her mouth, forcing her to stop talking.

Then he whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to tell the squad what I'm about to tell you- I'm aiming so it'll only be a flesh wound. Your life's not in danger and it'll be as least painful as possible, but if you keep moving then you'll throw my aim off and you could get more hurt than necessary. I'm so sorry, Casey."

Then, even as Olivia shouted at him over the phone to tell them what was going on, he stepped back, took aim, and fired.

* * *

><p>Everybody froze when they heard the sharp crack of a gunshot echo from the phone. They stared at it in silence as a muffled, female scream came through, followed by several thumps, then nothing. "Chester?" Elliot eventually asked nervously. "What did you just do?"<p>

"I shot Casey. Now do you believe I'm serious? Get down here with Brad Collins or I shoot her again."

* * *

><p>Sirens. Hostage negotiator. Then Fin, when the negotiator had failed. Chester refused everything and also refused to let Casey talk- he had yet to remove the tape from her mouth, although he had bandaged her shoulder for her. All he would say is that he wanted ten minutes alone with Brad Collins, and Casey knew why. Hell, the other detectives probably did too.<p>

They knew Chester was going to kill Collins. And while watching a child rapist die would't be too traumatizing for any of them, Chester would then be arrested- and most likely convicted of first degree murder. Felon. Twenty five years at _least_ in prison. Kicked off the force. To send Collins in when they knew that would be the result…

"Casey, I'm sure you're wondering why I had to resort to this. Once my lawyer told me that there wasn't enough evidence against him to get a conviction for my shooting, I knew I was gong to kill him. He ruined that little girl's life and this is my only shot to ruin his. We can't always let the bad guys win and this time… it's just be too much to ask us to sit back quietly while that monster went free. I had to bring you here because I don't want to give him a chance. I want him to walk in here, knowing I'm going to try to kill him and thinking he's going to talk me out of it, but then watching me shoot him and kill him."

Casey shook her head vehemently, trying to get him to understand, but Chester just sighed. "I'm sorry, Casey. I love you. I-"

"Lake! We're sending Brad Collins up. You have ten minutes with him, but then if you don't let the ADA go, we're going to have to come in there. Do you understand?" a voice shouted from the floor below them. Casey shook her head again, thumping her leg on the floor, trying to shout out to not bring the bastard up here. Chester was gong to ruin his life if she didn't manage to stop this.

Chester kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear, "I love you, Casey. Goodbye." Then he stood up, pointing his gun at the stairwell, the only entrance to the room. "That's fine. Send him up."

Footsteps. He's coming. Casey shook her head again, tears streaming down her face as she watched the love her life prepare to kill a man. "No!" she tried to scream, but all that came out was a muffled whine. She kicked at Chester's ankle but he didn't even react. Just focused on the stairwell as the footsteps got louder. And louder. And louder.

Only a few seconds now and Collins would be there; Casey struggled to find a way to pull Chester away from the door, at least until he would lose the element of surprise, but Chester was no longer paying any attention to her.

She saw his foot first. Collins stepped up into the room, turning slowly with a contempt smirk on his face… and then there was the gunshot.

Casey screamed as he fell to the floor, his expression forever frozen in arrogance, a red dot appearing on his forehead, splattering both her and Chester with blood. She screamed again, trying to wake up from this horrible nightmare, but nothing was happening.

Chester leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I know I'd be going to prison for the rest of my life if I walked out of there and surrendered. I don't want that. I don't want to put myself or you through that. So this is goodbye. I love you, Casey. I'm leaving you the key to the handcuffs. Don't forget me, but do move on."

He dropped the key down beside her, then ran for the door, his gun in the air. He ran down the stairs, out of Casey's sight. There was a chorus of gunshots.

Casey didn't stop screaming until Olivia ran up the stairs and tore the tape off her mouth. The ADA collapsed against her, sobbing as she closed her eyes to block out everything she had seen, though she never would.

* * *

><p>"So, I'll guess I'll see you again in a month?" Olivia asked softly as she walked beside Casey towards security.<p>

The ADA nodded. "Yes," she said in a tired, hoarse voice, her eyes slightly red. "No matter how things go in Florida, I'll be back in a month."

Chester, as he had promised, had shot her to cause panic, not to kill. She hadn't even had to go to the hospital and the stitches would be out in a week. But the sling was a reminder enough for now, causing her to sigh and cry silently whenever she woke up hoping it had all been a nightmare, and the scar would serve as a constant reminder in the future.

Chester's funeral had been yesterday, as had Collins's. SVU had gone to Chester's, of course, then found themselves gathered in a bar, drinking until they forgot what was so painful. That was where Casey had told them all about her and Chester's secret relationship.

And now, she was half an hour away from boarding a flight to Florida, where the rest of her family lived. Casey had asked for a month off and Liz had given it to her, no questions asked.

"I'm surprised you're taking time off," Olivia said, trying to sound concerned but unable to dredge up enough emotion. She'd expended a lot over the last week. "Normally you just barrel through and ignore everything that screams for you to take a vacation."

"He was one of you guys, Liv. I don't know what to do but I can't stay here right now. I can't work with you guys, always thinking about him or wondering what things would be like now if I'd managed to stop him from shooting Collins. If I still feel like this after I get back I may have to transfer. Maybe even quit. Because if Chester hadn't done what he did… that wasn't justice. If that's supposed to be justice, then I don't want this career," she said sadly as she walked towards the security checkpoint.

"We get the bad guys most of the time. It's just sometimes that our own legal system screws us… Don't transfer, Case. I know it doesn't seem like it now but after Chester… don't make us find another ADA, too."

Casey offered a weak smile before stepping towards the metal detector. "I'll try not to. See you in a month, Liv."

"Call me when you get there."

Casey smiled again, nodded, then continued walking.

_Oh, if only this had happened instead..._


End file.
